WARNING: VARIANCE AHEAD...

I Googled "volatility funny" and this photo came up.  I have no idea what this has to do with my search, but if Google says it's okay, I approve.

On the poker front, I had my best month of poker on Merge.  Yeah - it's only been 5 months, but I think it's saying something when the number was larger than most months I had on FT - especially since the average stake is much smaller.  I'm also up over 5 figures after less than 5 days this month.

Which got me to thinking...  why aren't people buying more popcorn for my database review?!?  Only 5 boxes sold so far.  I didn't realize I was writing to a bunch of god-damn bustos.  $22 for a chance at something that could be worth THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS doesn't sound good to you?!?  And it helps a bunch of cub scouts.  AND YOU GET POPCORN!!!  How is every reg worse than me (and a lot of regs better than me) not buying popcorn?!?  What else are you going to be doing on a Saturday night, except playing online poker and watching a movie by yourself?  Maybe you would have more friends if you bought some god-damn popcorn!

Having received all your emails over the years, and I've spoken to many of you, I'd just like to say... GET A LIFE, will you people? I mean, for crying out loud! I mean, I can't believe how lethargic you are! You've turned an enjoyable little hobby, that I did as a lark for a few years, into a COLOSSAL WASTE OF TIME!

I mean, how old are you people? What have you done with yourselves?

Most of you must be almost 30... have you ever kissed a girl?

I didn't think so! There's a whole world out there! When I was your age, I didn't surf the net! I LIVED! So... move out of your parent's basements! And get your own apartments and GROW THE HELL UP! I mean, it's just some popcorn to help some kids, IT'S JUST POPCORN THAT COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

HEY, YOU GUYS ARE... THE LAMEST BUNCH... I'VE NEVER SEEN...

PS - This was all in jest and my take on a SNL skit where Shatner goes to a Star Trek convention and goes off on the audience for not having a life.   It's one of the more memorable of the "old SNL" skits - maybe because I was laughing and crying at the same time (eh hem).   <3 you guys!  ;-)


But seriously, buy some popcorn - send an email to doubleflypoker@gmail.com.  The deadline is Saturday October 9 (I must have received your payment by then). And I decided how I'm going to choose the winner.  As a nod to TheMightyJim

(who recently named me as one of the 3 regs he wanted to spend with on a desert island), I'll use the score of the Duke (he went to Duke) - Michigan State game on Nov 15 at MSG.  BTW, that link is to his "well" on 2+2 - he's one of the better grinders out there, so if you have any questions for a solid winning mid-high stakes reg, this is your chance!  I think the game's going to be on ESPN.  Something along the lines of me assigning everyone numbers corresponding to the last digit of the final score (ie. A wins if Duke's score ends in a "0", B wins if Duke's score ends in a "1", etc).  Buy some popcorn before Evil Doublefly comes back.  Engage!

Oops.  Wrong version.  WARP FACTOR NINE!

Live long and proper (with popcorn).