Happy Father's Day! It takes a lot of hard work to be a good dad and a day of appreciation is certainly called for.  Unfortunately, not all dads on Full Tilt deserve this day of thanks.  Below are the five worst dads on FT:

5. Mad Scientist.  Being stuck in a castle all day because your dad somehow pissed off the villagers is not a good way to grow up.  You can't even go out for some good Korean barbecue because the patrons will start lighting their torches and chase you back to the castle.

4. Brokeback Cowboy.  I'm reminded of that Officer and a Gentleman quote: "the only two things from Oklahoma are steers and queers, and I don't see any horns on you boy."  He doesn't care abut you or mom - he just wants to figure out how to get back to his special buddy.  I wish I knew how to quit you. 

3. Pimp.  I suppose there are some advantages to having a pimp for a dad, like free samples.  But at the end of the day, what are you going to say when the smart-assed school kids tease, "your mom is a ho!"?  Also, I suspect he's going to be an aggressive disciplinarian, with a trigger-happy back-of-the-hand.

2.  Spy.  You're probably saying "Whaaa?!?  The spy would be awesome!"  But think about it - he's never around, gets called away all the time, and never spends time with your mom because he's with other women all the time.  At least you can commiserate with your dozen step brothers and step sisters, since he never uses protection. 

1.  The Don.  While it may be cool to have your dad be the leader of the underworld, think about it...  There's a 90% probability you will die.  The Don never dies - it's always his kid.  Sorta like how when Kirk, Spock, Bones and Ensign Smith go down to the planet, there's a 90% probability Ensign Smith gets killed.  Get out while you still can!

Well, gotta go now and see Mrs. Fly about my Father's Day "geeeft."