Yesterday, the day before first FTOPs tourney, I cashed in a tournament!  For the first time in like a dozen tournaments, I cashed!!!  I came in 22nd out of 418 entrants in a $75 entry knock-out tournament.  It took around 4 hours and I won a whopping $115.  NOT "net" of the buy-in.  I won $115 TOTAL!!!  (so $40 net)  I finished near the top 5% and my ROI wasn't even close to 100%.  Seriously, WTF?!?  I just sat there in disbelief because I thought that must've been a typo or something.  But there was no typo.  That is the cruel world of tournaments.  Seriously...  Mole people.

I was so disappointed / frustrated that I just wanted to punch a clown.  Not a euphemism... like I wanted to savagely beat a circus performer.  Like go find Ronald McDonald and have a little blanket party.  But on the topic of euphemisms...  Bleeding the weasel, buffing the banana, bopping the baloney, burping the worm, choking the chicken, cleaning your rifle, corking the bat, cranking the shank, cuffing the carrot, fisting your mister, flogging your dog, floggin the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the log, flute solo, jerkin'the gherkin, looping the mule, manual override, painting the pickle, pocket pinball, pocket pool, polishing the banister, polishing the rocket, pounding your flounder, pumping the python, roping the pony, spanking the monkey, teasing the weasel, tossing the turkey, walking the dog, whipping the willy, wonking your cronker, yanking the crank.  I took out a few that made no sense.  Ahhh...  I feel better now.

At least I won another $30 or so for knocking out a few people.  Norwalk Community College for the kids is sounding better and better.  Bill Gates never finished college.  Shoot!  I think I heard the guy who founded Otis Spunkmeyer cookies only went to elementary school - may or may not be true.  Funny how my "choking the chicken post" features a guy named Spunk.

Twelve days of frustration (aka FTOPs) begins tonight.  May the Poker Gods have mercy on your souls.