[A Mrs. Fly post]

Before I had my baby flies, my employments involved some form of writing and editing. That is, except for a brief stint when I was a banquet manager for a famous NYC restaurant (I wanted to meet an artsy fartsy chef but that's another story...). I do enjoy writing and editing, but when Doublefly asked me to be a contributing blogger on Doubleflypoker, to be totally honest, I didn't want to. I made excuses and kept putting it off. Only because I'd be writing to an alien audience. Very important to know your audience and relate to them. That's you. A 20 something, single, male poker player. An audience I don't know or, lets be honest, relate to. Or so I thought!! To my shock and delight, you enjoyed my post! Yipee do da day! In fact, I had double the checks for funny than Doublefly ever did on HIS highest count!

This called for a victory dance around and around Doublefly. What victory dance you ask? Well, I answer. Imagine a hybrid dance inspired between the Native American ceremonial war-path dance and made by those football players after they cross some sort of threshold line. Don't know what this line is called or any other football terminology for that matter. However, in "Jerry McGuire," Cuba Gooding Jr. slammed down his football and did this dance after he crossed this threshold line. Yep, that dance. So this was my hybrid-victory dance that I did around Doublefly.

Only thing is, instead of being super annoyed, he burst out laffing and said, "You are a big bap tong!" Bap tong is Korean for rice pot. Unfortunately, used in this context, it's a euphemism for empty-headed-idiot. Gravely insulting. Undeterred, instead of aborting mission-to-annoy-Doublefly, I doubled my victory dance efforts and added some whoop'n and a-holler'n. Didn't work. Au contraire, Doublefly started getting that creepy Borat-look. So gross. Needless to say, my victory dance quickly turned into Michael-Jackson's get-the-fk-outta-the-room-moon-walk. Defeat white flag still waving as I speak.

This was my round about way of thanking you guys for not throwing cyper tomatoes at Mrs. Fly. In fact, I got so psyched when some of you even left comments. Comments! To ME! That's a lot of drama for this fly mama. I was unabashedly thrilled. Until I read the first comment which went like this, "solid first post mrs.fly, that mr. fly sure gonna get pawnned by the noob now ;)." Have no idea what this means but it can't be good. Then I clicked into this poker player's info and it read:

"I am hopelessly obsessed with porn and intrigued with the intricacies of the fairer sex. Jenna Jameson has damaged my psyche beyond repair. I need help, NOW."

Ooooooh kaaaay...