In case you're curious what kinds of high level poker discussion we have on 2+2, here's a recent post that prompted some intriguing discussion:

Toilet paper is a waste anyway and I haven't used it in 3 years.  I either just shower after taking a dump, or if I don't need to shower, I'll sit on the edge of the bathtub and wash my ass with warm water. Much cleaner result (doesn't leave dried bits of paper and poo on your ass). 

So of course I started laughing at the image of some guy sitting on the lip of his tub washing his ass.  But then a whole bunch of other peculiar posts about ass wiping came out. Because I'm not some kind of degenerate, I haven't seen many people use the bathroom.  Altho Mrs. Fly thinks I'm a degenerate in other ways...  eeewww.

Anyway, I just assumed everyone just sat on the toilet, grabbed some toilet paper and folded it up and reached behind to wipe (usually front to back).  I did not realize there were so many permutations.  Even assuming you use a Western toilet (because "toilets" in some countries involve squatting), below is a summary of your options (assuming you wipe at all!!!):

wipe options
** toilet paper
* baby wipes
* toilet paper then baby wipes
* hand (in many countries, toilet paper is expensive, so the left hand hand is commonly referred to as the "unclean hand")
* newspaper / leaves / whatever you can find to salvage your left hand
* bidet / high tech toilet
* and now... bathtub
* shower

toilet paper options
** fold
* crumple (presumably for more surface area)

wiping position options
** seated (leaning left or right)
* standing!!! (apparently in some countries, standing is the norm - maybe the "squatting" countries?)

wiping
** reach back
* between legs!!! (makes more sense for women)

direction
** front to back
* back to front

That's over 80 combinations of ways to wipe yourself!  I guess life can be pretty complicated if there are that many ways to clean up #2.

WHAT'S FOR DESSERT

What better way to end off my dump post than with some chocolate covered fruit?  Strawberries and apples sent for Mrs. Fly's birthday.  Altho those apples are starting to look particularly unappetizing after reading this post...